Story Time Jesus

So this guy is trying to crucify me, and i'm like bro do you even lift?

So this guy is trying to crucify me, and i'm like bro do you even lift?  Story Time Jesus

I am god, and am omniscient But I don't know when I will be back. Matthew 24:36

I am god, and am omniscient But I don't know when I will be back. Matthew 24:36   Story Time Jesus

...then i gave that bitch a foot bath. Bitches love foot baths. John 13:5

...then i gave that bitch a foot bath. Bitches love foot baths. John 13:5  Story Time Jesus

So they were all, "NO WAY!" and I was like "YAHWEH!" Caption 3 goes here

So they were all,

So this guy was trying to crucify me and I was like bro do you even lift?

So this guy was trying to crucify me and I was like bro do you even lift?  Story Time Jesus

So I was hungry and wanted a Fig; not in season but Whatevs I check a tree- get this; bitch didn't have any figs, so I'm like 'fuck you tree, fuck you forever.' (My bros'll back me up, they totes saw me do it) -mark 11

So I was hungry and wanted  a Fig; not in season but Whatevs I check a tree- get this; bitch didn't have any figs, so I'm like 'fuck you tree, fuck you forever.' (My bros'll back me up, they totes saw me do it)                                     -mark 11  Story Time Jesus

yolo Unless you are the son of god

yolo Unless you are the son of god  Story Time Jesus

so I told everyone I was gods son and they believed me!!!

so I told everyone I was gods son and they believed me!!!   Story Time Jesus

so my dad told them, "guys, come on, seriously, don't eat that." first thing she does is eat it. so yeah, thats why i'm here.


so my dad told them,

there is one constant that has plagued human history even I had to learn to deal with, dudes. haters gonna hate. john 15:18

there is one constant that has plagued human history even I had to learn to deal with, dudes. haters gonna hate. john 15:18  Story Time Jesus
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