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Story Time Jesus
At first I was all, YOLO But then I was all, Nah JK!
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What is a european toddler doing in ancient palestine? Come to think of it...why are Santa and Osama Bin Laden here too?
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So i like decided to play league of legends one day and one spring break later, all the plebes were fucked
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So this dude hits me in the face and i turned my head and was like "Come at me bro. Hit me again." Matthew 5:39
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so i came up with this faith thing ok? cause no fraud can endure without faith bro!
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So Tomas was like, "Pics or it didn't happen." And I was like, "Dude, feel the wounds on my hands," And he was like "...My bro!" John 20.24-29
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So then I say to myself, "that's what your mom said last night" and i was like, "Jesus God, uncool"
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So then I got hammered with some jews and passed out for three days. i woke up in a fucking tomb. Sorry for party rockin. matthew 14:27
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...My teen years?? Aw, c'mon bro, Nobody wants to hear about that.
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they whipped me and gave me a crown of thorns it was so hot i came twice
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