Story Time Jesus

So I tell Adam and Eve, "You can do whatever you like, just don't eat that fruit off that tree over there and we're good." And what do you think they did? They ate the forbidden fruit! Not cool guys!

So I tell Adam and Eve,

...so then I was like, "Dude..." "...Be excellent to each other.."

...so then I was like,

so i wait it out in this tomb for like three days then i come out and i'm like, "sup now, bro?"

so i wait it out in this tomb for like three days then i come out and i'm like,

You have heard it said "Love Your Enemy, and Do Good to those who persecute you..." ...But I say, if you feel threatened, don't hesitate to blow someone away. The Second amendement gives you the right. Besides, The founding fathers were christians, so it'

You have heard it said

jesus is uniting the crypts and the bloods

jesus is uniting the crypts and the bloods   Story Time Jesus

so this bro goes, "no way, jesus!" And i was like, "yahweh"

so this bro goes,

The Mighty Duck man, I swear to Dad, I was there. I was like... EMILIOOO!!!!!!!

The Mighty Duck man, I swear to Dad, I was there. I was like... EMILIOOO!!!!!!!   Story Time Jesus

So I said "My Grace is Sufficient For you" they were like calling those who obeyed but not like them, "Legalist!!", and hating those whom I've given Grace to work in their areas. They forgot I was the perfect legalist and the most gracious one ever to wal

So I said

So then I got hammered with some jews and passed out for three days. i woke up in a fucking tomb bro, shit was crazy matthew 14:27

So then I got hammered with some jews and passed out for three days. i woke up in a fucking tomb bro, shit was crazy matthew 14:27  Story Time Jesus

So that bitch ate the damn apple and i kicked them the fuck out but its all good cause now i have a sweet place to go and do peyote

So that bitch ate the damn apple and i kicked them the fuck out but its all good cause now i have a sweet place to go and do peyote   Story Time Jesus
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