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Story Time Jesus

So this guy like stubbed his toe and yelled "Jesus Christ!" And I was all like, "Wassup?!"

So this guy like stubbed his toe and yelled
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They all thought it was the original, but I was like nah... This is the REMIX!!!

They all thought it was the original, but I was like nah... This is the REMIX!!! Story Time Jesus
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So then I was like, "nobody believes you mom who the fuck is my real dad?" but then, after they saw my magic routine,they did believe her...morons

So then I was like,
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so i was all like, "let anyone who is thirsty get at me i just transformed a shit ton water into wine."

so i was all like,
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AND THEN MARY MAGDALENE SHOW ME HER TITS and i was like wtF BITCH, I'M JESUS, I DON'T FUCK HOOKERS

AND THEN MARY MAGDALENE SHOW ME HER TITS and i was like wtF BITCH, I'M JESUS, I DON'T FUCK HOOKERS Story Time Jesus
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this is some straight up bullshit man a man hands me a cross and says "follow me dude and carry the cross" i'm like no way and he's like way dude.

this is some straight up bullshit man a man hands me a cross and says
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So then I looked over, and my cannabis bush was on fire And I was like, "Who the fuck is burning my stash?!"

So then I looked over, and my cannabis bush was on fire And I was like,
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So this pontius pilate guy has me crucified But after three days I was like "Naw bro"

So this pontius pilate guy has me crucified But after three days I was like
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But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven. And that especially means reposting memes on Facebook about how much you love me.

But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven. And that especially means reposting memes on Facebook about how much you love me. Story Time Jesus
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I WAS AT A FOOTBALL MATCH AND JESUS SPOKE TO ME

I WAS AT A FOOTBALL MATCH AND JESUS SPOKE TO ME Story Time Jesus
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