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Story Time Jesus

so I was doing this full body cleanse and the dude is like, just turn these stones into some food and shit... and I was like, STFU! For reals. matthew 14:27

so I was doing this full body cleanse and the dude is like, just turn these stones into some food and shit... and I was like, STFU! For reals. matthew 14:27 Story Time Jesus
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And I WAS ALL LIKE whoa daniel calm down bro its not the lion's den you're thinking of

And I WAS ALL LIKE whoa daniel calm down bro its not the lion's den you're thinking of Story Time Jesus
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So I was like, "Yo abraham, you should sacrifice your son." Then I was like, "woah, I was just kidding, bro"

So I was like,
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so I was like, bro, if you wanna come at him you gotta come at me first. John 14:6

so I was like, bro, if you wanna come at him you gotta come at me first. John 14:6 Story Time Jesus
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He was all "you got some wood shit in your eye." Nah bro. You got some bigger wood shit in your eye.

He was all
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When I told you that only god can judge and to love everybody It didn't mean to judge and hate others

When I told you that only god can judge and to love everybody It didn't mean to judge and hate others Story Time Jesus
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Jesus will come back before Derrick Rose does

Jesus will come back before Derrick Rose does Story Time Jesus
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biblical reference bro bro biblical reference bro bro bro still not funny bro

biblical reference bro bro biblical reference bro bro bro still not funny bro Story Time Jesus
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You can’t just suck up to my pops the night of the party and expect to crash at my place for eternity you got to put your money where ya want your heart to be, bro! Matthew 7:21; 6:21

You can’t just suck up to my pops the night of the party and expect to crash at my place for eternity you got to put your money where ya want your heart to be, bro! Matthew 7:21; 6:21 Story Time Jesus
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Y entonces... converti el agua en Buchanan's

Y entonces... converti el agua en Buchanan's Story Time Jesus
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