Story Time Jesus

So i was gone for three days, I came back, with some rabbits WTF is easter? Matthew 28:06

So i was gone for three days, I came back, with some rabbits WTF is easter?  Matthew 28:06  Story Time Jesus

DID I STUTTER?

 DID I STUTTER?  Story Time Jesus

so i was chillin' with my homies at the last supper and i was like Homies... this food your eating is my body.. they were all like no way! And I was like, Yahweh

so i was chillin' with my homies at the last supper and i was like Homies...
this food your eating is my body..
they were all like no way! And I was like, Yahweh   Story Time Jesus

Three day respawn? worst lag ever!

Three day respawn? worst lag ever!   Story Time Jesus

So I'm like, you DTF? And she's all we 'just friends' Whatevs bitch james 4:4

So I'm like, you DTF?  And she's all we 'just friends'  Whatevs bitch james 4:4  Story Time Jesus

By offloading your accountability to a private cloud solution we can consolidate abject misery while leaving you unfettered by the burden of intelligence

By offloading your accountability to a private cloud solution we can consolidate abject misery while leaving you unfettered by the burden of intelligence  Story Time Jesus

So i was like, "Bro do you want people doing that to you?" "Well, then don't do it to them."

So i was like,

So Peter askes me if he should forgive his brother only 7 times I was like Nah bro 70 x 7 do the math Matthew 18:21-22

So Peter askes me if he should forgive his brother only 7 times I was like Nah bro 70 x 7 do the math Matthew 18:21-22  Story Time Jesus

So this priest was all "blah blah blasphemy!!!!" I was like "u mad, brah"

So this priest was all

And then I said, April Fools! Im not dead anymore

And then I said, April Fools! Im not dead anymore  Story Time Jesus
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