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Story Time Jesus

So then i was all like to my mom, "Mom, chill out i'll be back in like 3 days, tops."

So then i was all like to my mom,
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They were all "Jesus, you can't swim, bro!" I was all "so what?" You shoulda seen their faces. Fuckin priceless.

They were all
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And then jesus spake: Guys, my dad really doesn't like it when you buttfuck, so just cool it.

And then jesus spake: Guys, my dad really doesn't like it when you buttfuck, so just cool it. Story Time Jesus
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As part of your equipment, you are to have a trowel, and when you squat outside, you are to scrape a hole with it and then turn and cover your excrement. Deut. 23: 13

As part of your equipment, you are to have a trowel, and when you squat outside, you are to scrape a hole with it and then turn and cover your excrement. Deut. 23: 13 Story Time Jesus
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They were all like "She's dead! She's dead!" so i went up to them and told e'm she's asleep. Luke 8:52

They were all like
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I was chillin' at the temple when i saw these dudes changing money So i told them to GTFO

I was chillin' at the temple when i saw these dudes changing money So i told them to GTFO Story Time Jesus
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So this guy was all like "I'm a leper" and i'm like "I'll still touch ya bro"

So this guy was all like
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I turned water into wine .....and niggas was still hating on a Brotha

I turned water into wine .....and niggas was still hating on a Brotha Story Time Jesus
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So he said YOLo and i was like nigga please I'm Jesus

So he said YOLo and i was like nigga please I'm Jesus Story Time Jesus
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So, I tried destroy a whole town with a fertilizer fire and they were like, "thank-you jesus" and "Thank God I'm Alive". WTF does a Jesus have to do before they realize I'm trying to kill them

So, I tried destroy a whole town with a fertilizer fire and they were like,
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