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Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin

Girl stumbles upon dick pic on phone "That's a really good size"

Girl stumbles upon dick pic on phone
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Goes to reddit for advice about upcoming date horribly unhelpful but makes him laugh so he can relax

Goes to reddit for advice about upcoming date horribly unhelpful but makes him laugh so he can relax Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin
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Coworker says "Happy Birthday!", You reply "You too" Actually was coworker's birthday

Coworker says
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Horny, decides to masturbates in class There is nothing awesome, just straight fucked

Horny, decides to masturbates in class There is nothing awesome, just straight fucked Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin
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tips bartender with $2 bill she says she collects them and gives you back a boner dollar

tips bartender with $2 bill she says she collects them and gives you back a boner dollar Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin
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Sing "Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too" at black friend's birthday party Not interpreted as a racial slur

Sing
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Has to poop in public restroom Only needs to wipe once

Has to poop in public restroom Only needs to wipe once Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin
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Tries to add something serious to the conversation. Others find it hilarious, roll with it.

Tries to add something serious to the conversation. Others find it hilarious, roll with it. Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin
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Accidentally rip my girlfriend's pants during foreplay She pulls out handcuffs: "were you planning on breaking and entering?"

Accidentally rip my girlfriend's pants during foreplay She pulls out handcuffs:
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Tries to get "friendzoned" by hot girls Can't

Tries to get
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