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Sheltering Suburban Mom

Says "Being a Mom is the best job on Earth." Nags husband to get his ass home by 6 so she can dump kids on him and get drunk with girlfriends

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Yells at you to go play outside Stays in all day and watches All My Children reruns.

Yells at you to go play outside Stays in all day and watches All My Children reruns. Sheltering Suburban Mom
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"It's awful how some mothers raise their children." 8-year-old is wearing a push-up bra.
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Tells kids it's what's inside that counts Fake tits

Tells kids it's what's inside that counts Fake tits Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Reads about autism on the internet Decides that everyone she knows is autistic

Reads about autism on the internet Decides that everyone she knows is autistic Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Gets 600 channel TV subscription only watches HGTV

Gets 600 channel TV subscription only watches HGTV Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Write "Check Id" on Credit Cards Bitch when chasier asks to see id

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locks you in your room when she finds you smoking at 25 has been secretly smoking at work for 20 years

locks you in your room when she finds you smoking at 25 has been secretly smoking at work for 20 years Sheltering Suburban Mom
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wants "the best for her kids" smoked and drank while pregnant with you at 18

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Son asks to go to new friend's house to hang out First question: "What do his parents do for a living?"

Son asks to go to new friend's house to hang out First question:
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