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Sheltering Suburban Mom

Screams your name as if she's dying "Just checking on you"

Screams your name as if she's dying
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I have 2 kids now I really need this massive SUV

I have 2 kids now I really need this massive SUV Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Checks airport terminal for terrorists

Checks airport terminal for terrorists Sheltering Suburban Mom
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wants you to go outside and be active gets mad when you leave the house with friends

wants you to go outside and be active gets mad when you leave the house with friends Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Tells you to eat healthy won't buy you healty food

Tells you to eat healthy won't buy you healty food Sheltering Suburban Mom
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"We're going to start eating vegan in this household." Puts butter on everything
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Hates spitting and sweating. Masturbation? meh.

Hates spitting and sweating. Masturbation? meh. Sheltering Suburban Mom
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"Grades are more important than sports" Makes you go to swim team practice instead of studying for a test
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"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, WHO I FRIEND ON FACEBOOK." SHE "LIKES" WHEN YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND CHANGES HER STATUS TO ENGAGED.
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Grounds you for smoking pot Uses hemp seed oil every day

Grounds you for smoking pot Uses hemp seed oil every day Sheltering Suburban Mom
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