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Sheltering Suburban Mom

Says marijuana is kills Beer in one hand Cigarette in the other

Says marijuana is kills Beer in one hand Cigarette in the other Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Gives you box of condoms for 18th birthday Gets mad when she finds out you used them

Gives you box of condoms for 18th birthday Gets mad when she finds out you used them Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Makes you turn off The Shawshank Redemption because "It's inappropriate for your younger brother." Puts on trashy reality TV.

Makes you turn off The Shawshank Redemption because
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Are those your real eyelashes? They're beautiful, God has been very good to you

Are those your real eyelashes? They're beautiful, God has been very good to you Sheltering Suburban Mom
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son makes friends at school with a boy with a mullet "you stay away from that kid!!"

son makes friends at school with a boy with a mullet
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cat opens successful business puts husband outside every night

cat opens successful business puts husband outside every night Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Believes that R-rated films and video games have warped kids' minds. Installs TV sets in her offspring's bedrooms.

Believes that R-rated films and video games have warped kids' minds. Installs TV sets in her offspring's bedrooms. Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Yells at child for taking hamster out of its cage Makes no attempt to stop her 3 psycho dogs from chasing passing runner

Yells at child for taking hamster out of its cage Makes no attempt to stop her 3 psycho dogs from chasing passing runner Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Spend 4hrs fixing her computer 'what did you do, you broke it'

Spend 4hrs fixing her computer 'what did you do, you broke it' Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Family Guy is so offensive, they shouldn't allow it on TV South Park is her favorite show

Family Guy is so offensive, they shouldn't allow it on TV South Park is her favorite show Sheltering Suburban Mom
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