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Sheltering Suburban Mom

"I'm sick of driving you everywhere" Won't let you get your license
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daughter's boyfriend pulls up in a 1984 Z28 blaring van halen quietly Wonders if she's having an acid flashback

daughter's boyfriend pulls up in a 1984 Z28 blaring van halen quietly Wonders if she's having an acid flashback Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Finds wood tick on family dog calls an exterminator

Finds wood tick on family dog calls an exterminator Sheltering Suburban Mom
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A "war on drugs" where armed military squads raid houses in search of contraband? What could be bad about that?

A
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tells son to make more friends at school. starts hanging round with a boy with a mullet "you stay away from that boy!!"

tells son to make more friends at school. starts hanging round with a boy with a mullet
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the higgs boson particle is amazing good thing god put it there

the higgs boson particle is amazing good thing god put it there Sheltering Suburban Mom
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scoffs at people on the internet uses facebook

scoffs at people on the internet uses facebook Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Son's facebook gets hacked in apple store calls the police

Son's facebook gets hacked in apple store calls the police Sheltering Suburban Mom
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I don't do drugs! My Xanax is medicine!

I don't do drugs! My Xanax is medicine! Sheltering Suburban Mom
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*sniiiiiiif* "I really should wash myself. I've got a serious stank on down here."

*sniiiiiiif*
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