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Scumbag Uterus
I see it's finals week How about a period?
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Oh your cat died and you have a sinus infection? I better go ahead and start a week and a half early
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UTI this morning? I'll comfort you
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Debilitating cold during exams? Let me join too
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First week of college and your birthday? Here's some diarrhea, cramps and heavy bleeding for ya'.
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Late for two months "I know something that will go great with your recent mono and anniversary date tomorrow"
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Your birthday is in a few days? Here, have an early present!
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Just woke up 30 minutes past your clock in time? I feel like coming a week early.
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food poisoning, huh? i've got just the thing!
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Oh so your hubby initiated sexy times with you and almost never does? I want to play too!
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