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Scumbag Brain
Went to bed early? why not sleep 13 hours?
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Running home because you need to use the bathroom. Get to your front door Close Enough
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HEY REMEMBER THAT AWESOME DREAM YOU HAD LAST NIGHT? I don't.
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Tells you body is starving Still makes you feel too lazy to get up and make food
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At Hyperion dancing in front at Papadosio Wake up in own bed
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Oh, You want to have sex with your girlfriend? Let's pinch our dick in a kitchen cabinet.
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8 hour roadtrip? let's get no sleep at all
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Girl you like doesn't like you. Wakes you up every 20 minutes to remind you.
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Bro, I'm feeling kinda nervous about those pitstains You should sweat more
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I've just remembered your alarm goes off in 2mins Here, let me give you the beginning of the best dream you'll ever have so that the alarm goes off in the middle.
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Advice Dog
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All The Things
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Anti-Joke Chicken
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Batman and Joker
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Bill O Reilly
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Business Dog
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Captain Hindsight
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Confucius says
Courage Wolf
Crazy Girlfriend Praying Mantis
Creeper Canine
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Dating Site Murderer
Depression Dog
Downvoting Roman
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Epic Jackie Chan
Evil Plotting Raccoon
Fallout new vegas
Family Tech Support Guy
Fancy Crab
First World Problems
Forever Alone
Foul Bachelor Frog
Foul Bachelorette Frog
Friend Zone Fiona
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Grandma finds the Internet
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Helpful Tyler Durden
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Jimmy McMillan Rent Too High
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