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Scumbag Brain
Makes the best sex dream ever forgets everything other than the fact it was awesome
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Lives in same house for 20 years Still can't remember what some light switches do
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fully extinguishes joint creates terrifying images of entire neighborhood on fire
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Forgets people's names Remembers how your grandma's house smells
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Manual blinking activated
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Has 5 hours of reading Masters procrastination in 15 minutes
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WANT TO GO TO SLEEP? NO SUCH LUCK. SORRY.
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Going to sleep? Here's a bunch of bad memories to think about!
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Won't let you wake up for classes during week. Wakes you up early on weekend.
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Has vast knowledge in a wide array of subjects, could do any type of work, has life figured out, has achieved almost all goals, is happy drops out of school, does nothing, feels bad
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