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Scumbag Brain
Hey bro, this hot girl just introduced herself to you You should probably immediately forget her name
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Stayed up late and is tired all day Is no longer tired and stays up late again
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Lives in the same house for over a decade Can't remember what light switch is for what room
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Remembers nothing about last night Except for the hours of throwing up you did
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When at home: Wants to go out When out: Wants nothing more than to go home
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Have important interview tomorrow morning? Fuck sleep, how about we wake up every 40 minutes.
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girlfriend doesn't answer text immediately dude, she's probably cheating on you right now
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Cute girl liked your facebook status She must want sex with you
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About to have sex in dream Arousal wakes you up
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Hey dawg, I heard you like procrastinating. so while you were typing that essay, I had you fall asleep and dream that you were sleeping, so you could procrastinate while you procrastinate.
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