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Scumbag Brain
Oh, you're really drunk? Let me find all the people in your phone that you shouldn't be texting
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Scumbag Brain
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Oh, you walked through a doorway looking for something? Here, let me make you forget what the fuck you were doing
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Gets you a PhD in neuroscience Still can't accept that data is plural
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Need something to dream about? Here are images of all the spiders in the world - including some I made up myself!
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Can remember something 5 years ago But not 5 seconds ago
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I should put this on reddit Found it on reddit
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You're about to stand up? Allow me to pop a boner
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YOUR BROTHER AND NEW GIRLFRIEND ARE IN TOWN You should call her by his exes name multiple times
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Hey, go ahead, change your work password on Friday I'll totally remember it on Monday.
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Hey man, you're about to go to sleep. But you probably left all the doors unlocked so serial killers can get in.
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