Paranoid Parrot

girlfriend hanging out with friends later tonight? tonight is the night she cheats on me.

girlfriend hanging out with friends later tonight? tonight is the night she cheats on me.  Paranoid Parrot

Dick touches edge of toilet seat AIDS

Dick touches edge of toilet seat AIDS  Paranoid Parrot

Bosses are in a meeting together i'm getting fired

Bosses are in a meeting together i'm getting fired  Paranoid Parrot

Came into the room, forgot why Oh God, the Silence!

Came into the room, forgot why Oh God, the Silence!  Paranoid Parrot

crush talking to girl they're going to get married and i'm going to die alone

crush talking to girl they're going to get married and i'm going to die alone  Paranoid Parrot

FRIEND POSTS VAGUE, ANGRY FACEBOOK STATUS IT'S ABOUT ME

FRIEND POSTS VAGUE, ANGRY FACEBOOK STATUS IT'S ABOUT ME   Paranoid Parrot

Goes into men's bathroom quickly check for urinals to make sure you didn't enter ladies room by mistake

Goes into men's bathroom quickly check for urinals to make sure you didn't enter ladies room by mistake   Paranoid Parrot

Puts 5 alarm times on phone before bed Keeps waking up checking that the alarms are set

Puts 5 alarm times on phone before bed Keeps waking up checking that the alarms are set   Paranoid Parrot

Wants to make a meme goes through 100 pages of r/adviceanimals to make sure it hadn't been done

Wants to make a meme goes through 100 pages of r/adviceanimals to make sure it hadn't been done  Paranoid Parrot

always chooses the seat where no one can see what I'm doing

always chooses the seat where no one can see what I'm doing  Paranoid Parrot
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