Paranoid Parrot

boyfriend lasts a long time during sex He must think I'm unattractive

boyfriend lasts a long time during sex  He must think I'm unattractive  Paranoid Parrot

Accidently hit the unlock button on my car key remote Even though car is miles away, hits the lock button just in case

Accidently hit the unlock button on my car key remote Even though car is miles away, hits the lock button just in case  Paranoid Parrot

Asked to Register Pirated Software Throw out computer

Asked to Register Pirated Software Throw out computer  Paranoid Parrot

won't post picture on LGBT subreddits someone will recognize me, i'll be outed

won't post picture on LGBT subreddits someone will recognize me, i'll be outed  Paranoid Parrot

CAR BEHIND MAKES SAME TURNING AS YOU UNDERCOVER AGENTS

CAR BEHIND MAKES SAME TURNING AS YOU UNDERCOVER AGENTS  Paranoid Parrot

Carry iPhone. Apple knows everywhere I've been!

Carry iPhone. Apple knows everywhere I've been!  Paranoid Parrot

Writes comment Pastes it in google to make sure there are no spelling mistakes

Writes comment Pastes it in google to make sure there are no spelling mistakes  Paranoid Parrot

Nauseated Pregnant

Nauseated Pregnant  Paranoid Parrot

Passes Cop. Going speed limit. seatbelt on. both hands on wheel. not texting. Checks mirror for sirens

Passes Cop. Going speed limit. seatbelt on. both hands on wheel. not texting. Checks mirror for sirens  Paranoid Parrot

Math Exam Tomorrow Set Five Different Alarms

Math Exam Tomorrow Set Five Different Alarms  Paranoid Parrot
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