Paranoid Parrot

Can't fart out here in public i'll just fart 700 times when i get home

Can't fart out here in public i'll just fart 700 times when i get home  Paranoid Parrot

Didn't post an interesting article on passive aggression on facebook Because I didn't want any of my friends to think I was passive aggressively calling them passive aggressive

Didn't post an interesting article on passive aggression on facebook Because I didn't want any of my friends to think I was passive aggressively calling them passive aggressive  Paranoid Parrot

TURNS LIGHTS OFF IN BASEMENT Run up stairs as fast as fucking possible

TURNS LIGHTS OFF IN BASEMENT Run up stairs as fast as fucking possible  Paranoid Parrot

Slight chest pain Web MD says AIDS.

Slight chest pain Web MD says AIDS.  Paranoid Parrot

taking shower with no one else in the house Psycho theme on loop in head

taking shower with no one else in the house Psycho theme on loop in head  Paranoid Parrot

See cop car change directions

See cop car change directions  Paranoid Parrot

on vacation Did i leave the oven on? did i lock the door? Did I turn the lights off? Did i leave the water running?

on vacation Did i leave the oven on? did i lock the door? Did I turn the lights off? Did i leave the water running?  Paranoid Parrot

"you swallow 7 spiders every year" sleep with duct tape over mouth

What? I'm not paranoid! Which one of my enemies told you this?

What? I'm not paranoid! Which one of my enemies told you this?  Paranoid Parrot

Trouble swallowing? Cancer

Trouble swallowing? Cancer  Paranoid Parrot
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