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Paranoid Parrot

Expecting visitor *Ding-dong* murderer

Expecting visitor *Ding-dong* murderer Paranoid Parrot
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102 shares

Uses express lane at supermarket Repeatedly counts items to make sure its under the limit

Uses express lane at supermarket Repeatedly counts items to make sure its under the limit Paranoid Parrot
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look up pretty girl on facebook keep cursor away from 'add friend' button at all times

look up pretty girl on facebook keep cursor away from 'add friend' button at all times Paranoid Parrot
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post shows a huge spider in someones home "where do you live?!"

post shows a huge spider in someones home
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Girlfriend was supposed to be here aN HOUR AGO and i haven't heard from her she's been kidnapped and is soon to be sold into prostitution

Girlfriend was supposed to be here aN HOUR AGO and i haven't heard from her she's been kidnapped and is soon to be sold into prostitution Paranoid Parrot
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102 shares

Makes passing eye contact with hot girl she must think I'm staring at her boobs

Makes passing eye contact with hot girl she must think I'm staring at her boobs Paranoid Parrot
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Argues in favor of Wikileaks on Facebook, Facebook stops loading. Theyre on to me.

Argues in favor of Wikileaks on Facebook, Facebook stops loading. Theyre on to me. Paranoid Parrot
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Takes 5 year old sister to school. Everyone thinks I had a kid when I was a teenager.

Takes 5 year old sister to school. Everyone thinks I had a kid when I was a teenager. Paranoid Parrot
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car in front of you driving slow? buy a plane ticket to DREAMFORCE!

car in front of you driving slow? buy a plane ticket to DREAMFORCE! Paranoid Parrot
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Song you're listening to has a police siren in it slows down and begins to pull over

Song you're listening to has a police siren in it slows down and begins to pull over Paranoid Parrot
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