Paranoid Parrot

Expecting visitor *Ding-dong* murderer

Expecting visitor *Ding-dong*
 murderer  Paranoid Parrot

Uses express lane at supermarket Repeatedly counts items to make sure its under the limit

Uses express lane at supermarket Repeatedly counts items to make sure its under the limit  Paranoid Parrot

look up pretty girl on facebook keep cursor away from 'add friend' button at all times

look up pretty girl on facebook keep cursor away from 'add friend' button at all times  Paranoid Parrot

post shows a huge spider in someones home "where do you live?!"

post shows a huge spider in someones home

Girlfriend was supposed to be here aN HOUR AGO and i haven't heard from her she's been kidnapped and is soon to be sold into prostitution

Girlfriend was supposed to be here aN HOUR AGO and i haven't heard from her she's been kidnapped and is soon to be sold into prostitution  Paranoid Parrot

Makes passing eye contact with hot girl she must think I'm staring at her boobs

Makes passing eye contact with hot girl she must think I'm staring at her boobs  Paranoid Parrot

Argues in favor of Wikileaks on Facebook, Facebook stops loading. Theyre on to me.

Argues in favor of Wikileaks on Facebook, Facebook stops loading. Theyre on to me.   Paranoid Parrot

Takes 5 year old sister to school. Everyone thinks I had a kid when I was a teenager.

Takes 5 year old sister to school. Everyone thinks I had a kid when I was a teenager.   Paranoid Parrot

car in front of you driving slow? buy a plane ticket to DREAMFORCE!

car in front of you driving slow? buy a plane ticket to DREAMFORCE!  Paranoid Parrot

Song you're listening to has a police siren in it slows down and begins to pull over

Song you're listening to has a police siren in it slows down and begins to pull over  Paranoid Parrot
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