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Offensive Forrest Gump

"posts are like a box of chocolates." you never know what you're gonna get
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Have you found Jesus yet? I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him!

Have you found Jesus yet? I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him! Offensive Forrest Gump
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"Shrimps have feeling too?" What do you mean,
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Life is like a dick. soft, short and simple Then wemon come along and make it Hard, long, and complicated

Life is like a dick. soft, short and simple Then wemon come along and make it Hard, long, and complicated Offensive Forrest Gump
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Mama said these are my magic shoes They're just regular shoes?

Mama said these are my magic shoes They're just regular shoes? Offensive Forrest Gump
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"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." It's what sailors like to do to my bottom after two weeks at sea
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You mean to tell me I'm in the friendzone?

You mean to tell me I'm in the friendzone? Offensive Forrest Gump
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Lt. Dan You have no legs

Lt. Dan You have no legs Offensive Forrest Gump
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What are you doing in new york, lt. dan? Besides being a useless cripple?

What are you doing in new york, lt. dan? Besides being a useless cripple? Offensive Forrest Gump
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287 shares

"And cause I was a gazillionaire, and I liked doin it so much... I hired some coons so I could beat them off the back porch with a broom."
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