Offensive Forrest Gump

"posts are like a box of chocolates." you never know what you're gonna get

Have you found Jesus yet? I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him!

Have you found Jesus yet? I didn't know I was 
supposed to be looking for him!  Offensive Forrest Gump

"Shrimps have feeling too?" What do you mean,

Life is like a dick. soft, short and simple Then wemon come along and make it Hard, long, and complicated

Life is like a dick. soft, short and simple Then wemon come along and make it Hard, long, and complicated  Offensive Forrest Gump

Mama said these are my magic shoes They're just regular shoes?

Mama said these are my magic shoes They're just regular shoes?  Offensive Forrest Gump

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." It's what sailors like to do to my bottom after two weeks at sea

You mean to tell me I'm in the friendzone?

You mean to tell me I'm in the friendzone?  Offensive Forrest Gump

Lt. Dan You have no legs

Lt. Dan You have no legs  Offensive Forrest Gump

What are you doing in new york, lt. dan? Besides being a useless cripple?

What are you doing in new york, lt. dan? Besides being a useless cripple?  Offensive Forrest Gump

"And cause I was a gazillionaire, and I liked doin it so much... I hired some coons so I could beat them off the back porch with a broom."

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