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Misunderstood Spider
Are my eyes pretty? THEN UPVOTE MY FUCKING MEME
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Homeowner dusts Oh god my house
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I'm cute and fuzzy and eat all the bugs you don't want around! aren't you glad you have me? ...Not going to lie, the screaming kind of hurts my feelings.
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you hate other bugs too? I'll call some friends to help eat them all
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Wake up to a coughing fit? You swallowed me.
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Guess who's pregnant?! I'm having kilotuplets! i thought you'd be happy for me.
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do you like my web? i spent all day on it i think you're very insensitive
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Oh Curt! Thanks! I'd just bound and gagged a cockroach in your facecloth! What do you want with it?!
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Oh hi there: My name is Boris the Spider and I’m looking for a job. My specialties include catching wasps, mosquitoes, flie- Oh paperwork, nice! Do you have a pen by ay chance?
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I too thought the carpet was looking a bit dirty. Great job on the baseboards by the way. We're good up here, thanks. no really, we're okay.
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