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George Carlin

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball. George Carlin
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And I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people. A maniac will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a Bugs Bunny suit at the time.

And I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people. A maniac will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a Bugs Bunny suit at the time. George Carlin
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147 shares

you ever belch and almost puke?

you ever belch and almost puke? George Carlin
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up

You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up George Carlin
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140 shares

Some guys will say to you 'Hey Have a Good one' And I say hey I already have a good one, now I'm looking for a longer one

Some guys will say to you 'Hey Have a Good one' And I say hey I already have a good one, now I'm looking for a longer one George Carlin
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137 shares

Try to pay attention to the language we've all agreed on

Try to pay attention to the language we've all agreed on George Carlin
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135 shares

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin
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133 shares

"hey phil, i got another one...near the refrigerator!" "be-yoo-ti-ful, charlie. i'll call the printer" fake vomit marketing ideas
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130 shares

I can say "strippers," right? I mean it's not one of the Seven.

I can say
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126 shares

a man who sticks his dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts

a man who sticks his dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts George Carlin
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115 shares

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