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George Carlin

Never trust Internet quotes from dead celebrities

Never trust Internet quotes from dead celebrities George Carlin
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I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights. George Carlin
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"Just kidding. Now go make me a sandwich." -George Carlin
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Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death. Has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians all taking turns killing each other 'cause God told them it was a good idea. The sword of God, the b

Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death. Has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians all taking turns killing each other 'cause God told them it was a good idea. The sword of God, the b George Carlin
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I've got this real moron thing I do, it's called "thinking" and I'm not a really good American because I like to form my own opinions

I've got this real moron thing I do, it's called
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin
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Children are not our future Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so BLOW ME!

Children are not our future Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so BLOW ME! George Carlin
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Pack your shit, folks. We're going away

Pack your shit, folks. We're going away George Carlin
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Do you hear that? It's me spinning in my grave over all of the bullshit political quotes attributed to me because someone put a fucking "Carlin meme generator" online.

Do you hear that? It's me spinning in my grave over all of the bullshit political quotes attributed to me because someone put a fucking
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george Carlin: This item demonstrates how stupid the average American is. Every 90 min. someone in the country is hit by a train. a train, okay? Trains are on tracks; they can't come and get you. They can't suprise you when you step off a curb. You have t

george Carlin: This item demonstrates how stupid the average American is. Every 90 min. someone in the country is hit by a train. a train, okay? Trains are on tracks; they can't come and get you. They can't suprise you when you step off a curb. You have t George Carlin
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