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Confession Bear

I don't think Taco Bell's Fire Sauce is really that hot

I don't think Taco Bell's Fire Sauce is really that hot Confession Bear
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When I adjust weights at the gym I push the pin in fast to emulate the sound of a sword being sheathed

When I adjust weights at the gym I push the pin in fast to emulate the sound of a sword being sheathed Confession Bear
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I browse /r/funny/new for things that will never make the front page For my Facebook status

I browse /r/funny/new for things that will never make the front page For my Facebook status Confession Bear
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I LOVE IT WHEN I BREAK GIRLS' HEARTS

I LOVE IT WHEN I BREAK GIRLS' HEARTS Confession Bear
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I tell people I don't want kids But in reality, I'm more afraid of them coming out with a disability

I tell people I don't want kids But in reality, I'm more afraid of them coming out with a disability Confession Bear
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My bedside table is full of condoms And i havent opened any of them

My bedside table is full of condoms And i havent opened any of them Confession Bear
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I made up something because I think it will get upvotes

I made up something because I think it will get upvotes Confession Bear
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My parents Pay for my education

My parents Pay for my education Confession Bear
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I constantly fantasize about being murdered So my friends won't hate me for committing suicide.

I constantly fantasize about being murdered So my friends won't hate me for committing suicide. Confession Bear
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When my waiter friends tell me they got stiffed on a tip I assume it's because they gave bad service

When my waiter friends tell me they got stiffed on a tip I assume it's because they gave bad service Confession Bear
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