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Confession Bear
If you brag about having a lot of one night stands I automatically assume you're bad in bed
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I watched the weather channel For the destruction that hurricanes caused
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When I tail-gate you on the freeway It's because I want to be in your slipstream and get better MPG
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Sometimes at work I just go and sit on the toilet to kill time No pooping, mostly redditing
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I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE NORTH KOREA INTO A FUCKING PARKING LOT
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When I tell you, "I'm bad with names" I really mean, "you weren't interesting or important enough to remember"
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When I see those fly stickers in urinals I pee anywhere but on that sticker
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Apparently Jerry Seinfeld is a comedian but I never laughed at anything he said and thought his show was stupid.
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IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE "THEIR", "THEY'RE" AND "THERE" I ASSUME YOU ARE AN IDIOT AND AUTOMATICALLY DISREGARD WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY
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When I see a post in r/new that has a title asking if they're doing a meme right I just assume they aren't and downvote the submission
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