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Confession Bear
When I finish pooping I always take a look at my creation
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My new manager keeps talking about all my "previous experience" I don't have any... I think she confused my application and I accidentally stole someone else's job.
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i kinda like nickleback
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i watch good morning america every morning drunk
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When I get drunk or smoke weed I never get as happy and I wanted to be
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My roommate in high school never did her laundry, bathed once a week, stole my stuff, and lied about me constantly So I pissed in her laundry basket and perfume, put bleach in her shampoo, two tarantulas in her bed, and framed her for stealing at Walmart
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I saw a kid having a temper tantrum at wal-mart I said to my friend, "Aaaand that's why I'm never having kids" loud enough for the mom to hear
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I don't really care if you fell and had a concussion I just want to pay my bills
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Every time my computer acts up now I actually think the NSA has logged in
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I'm glad my father died before my wedding, and I wish my mother would do the same I don't want to explain to her that she isn't invited because she's a terrible person
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