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Confession Bear
I keep calling my boyfriend my fiance so people don't judge me for moving away with him
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Suck a dick
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I rarely put USB cables in the wrong way around. They have little labels and are very clearly asymmetrical
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Most times even when I find a post extremely funny or interesting I still don't even take the time to upvote it
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When I am shopping online and part of an object's description says "best seller" I automatically assume it's the opposite, and DON'T want to buy it
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my boss died helped the killer bury him
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I hope we have no customers so I have less work to do
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I think that browsing user submitted is just as funny, if not better than browsing on the gallery
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I tell everyone I was in the army, but never went over seas. I have. I've killed a lot of people, and it really fucks with my mind most of the time.
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The main reason I want a girlfriend is so she can help me buy some decent clothes
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