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Confession Bear
I get in shape So I can dump my girlfriend
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I could easily solve the problem in less than a minute but I let the teacher take up 10-20 minutes of class time so i can browse reddit
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Saw a confession bear meme about being friends with the perfect girl but not dating her for her size Pretty sure that it was posted by my boyfriend talking about his best friend
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When I was in college, a girl cheated on me with my roomate who sleeps directly next to me. They initially hooked up about 4 feet from me. So whenever I walked by her door to go see my best friend, I spat on her doorknob. Every . Time.
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Me. I made it, then posted it on reddit for karma. Because everyone knows you get more karma by saying someone else did it.
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I woke up this morning with 'I love D' written on my forehead. I was drinking at home last night. Alone.
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I actually kind of like Call of Duty
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When a girl uploads a photo on Facebook, I never click "Like" Because I don't want to give them the attention they are seeking.
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I am in love With my wife
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Mechanic shows me the last person who did my brake job left a bungee cord attached to the caliper. It rubbed a hole in my CV boot. $371.00 repair. Last person was me.
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