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Confession Bear
When I am bored and need to pee I put toilet bowl cleaner in so my pee will be green
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When people road rage at me I blow them a kiss in order to induce further rage because I find it funny when people rage
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I like bringing my girlfriend to my parents' house as much as I can because it motivates them to clean their house
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I saw my older cousin running to catch the school bus and the bus driver didn't notice And I didn't say anything
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I don't invite any of my friends to my place I am broke and live in the living room of a married couple($100 rent)
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I think nutella, oreos and bacon is overrated
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I'm reading atlas shrugged and it's incredible
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I came home drunk one night. and emailed all my college professors pictures of Cauliflower
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Whenever I see dog pee, poop, or vomit in my house I pretend I didn't see it, and I wait for someone else to clean it up.
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I tasted my semen one time I actually liked the taste and couldn't get enough
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