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Big Girl Party

They made us wait 2 hours on a broken Metro train! Pees in public

They made us wait 2 hours on a broken Metro train! Pees in public Big Girl Party
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My ex said he left because when we made love he wasn't "feeling it" his legs

My ex said he left because when we made love he wasn't
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"Where have all the cowboys gone?" I ate them
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HEY GIRLFRIENDS I SWALLOWED THE SKIPPER!

HEY GIRLFRIENDS I SWALLOWED THE SKIPPER! Big Girl Party
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Frozen yogurt is healthier than ice cream! 32 oz chocolate syrup, caramel, and candy bars

Frozen yogurt is healthier than ice cream! 32 oz chocolate syrup, caramel, and candy bars Big Girl Party
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I want to live in a walkable neighborhood Takes cabs everywhere

I want to live in a walkable neighborhood Takes cabs everywhere Big Girl Party
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We should judge by the content of a person's character, not appearance Judges based on appearance

We should judge by the content of a person's character, not appearance Judges based on appearance Big Girl Party
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I never say no to dessert Or anything else edible

I never say no to dessert Or anything else edible Big Girl Party
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I wish I could live in Europe Mail-order brides should be illegal!

I wish I could live in Europe Mail-order brides should be illegal! Big Girl Party
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"If you were a real man, you'd be proud to show me off to your friends." Dumps bf pre-emptively
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