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Bad Luck Brian
Finds Shiny Geodude w/ Selfdestruct
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masturbates for the first time mom walks in half way through it
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goes on a steam tour to York from london gets diesel instead
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Starts using mouth wash Gets seven ulcers
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smokes his fist cigarette gets lung cancer.
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Goes to play in the rain Gets sunburn
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hot girl gets ON bus, only one seat next to him left stands up
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Goes shopping for new clothes took advice from macklemore
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gets free tent from summercamp full of piss and shit
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Smiles Carnivorous insect flies into mouth, burrows into his intestines, lays its eggs, 60 days later the eggs hatch and swarm back out of his windpipe just as he is receiving his first kiss, the carnivorous bugs then switch hosts and swoop into the girls
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