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ALYSSA BEREZNAK

You wear glasses? Strike one!

You wear glasses? Strike one! ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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Check it out! I have zero brains!

Check it out! I have zero brains! ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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Date a millionaire? no thanks, he plays magic

Date a millionaire? no thanks, he plays magic ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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Alyssa Bereznak One time, a frozen hot-dog broke off in her asshole, and a TLC documentary crew filmed the hospital staff struggling to get it out.

Alyssa Bereznak One time, a frozen hot-dog broke off in her asshole, and a TLC documentary crew filmed the hospital staff struggling to get it out. ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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Destroy me... and make me regret that article for the rest of my life...what's left of it before I kill myself.

Destroy me... and make me regret that article for the rest of my life...what's left of it before I kill myself. ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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Infiltrated way into human race

Infiltrated way into human race ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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Must quit OKCUPID I don't want to be paired down

Must quit OKCUPID I don't want to be paired down ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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I once sucked shit from a dead turtle's asshole!

I once sucked shit from a dead turtle's asshole! ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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Alyssa Bereznak Spokesperson for a noted advocacy group for those who suffer from Vaginal Blood-Farting Syndrome

Alyssa Bereznak Spokesperson for a noted advocacy group for those who suffer from Vaginal Blood-Farting Syndrome ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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I dumped him too mana intensive

I dumped him too mana intensive ALYSSA BEREZNAK
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